pain

I saw my brother laid on the stretcher in the hospital. I couldn't believe on my eyes.  his shirt was drenched with blood.  his face was...

I saw my brother laid on the stretcher in the hospital. I couldn't believe on my eyes.

 his shirt was drenched with blood. 

his face was covered with blood.

 he was completely unconscious. 

his eyes were closed .

I have never seen him like this in my life. I was so scared .he was the only family of mine. the sight of my parents accident flashed in my eyes . I was very young when I had lost them. I had cried that day too much but I knew that I have my elder brother with me. I was upset but was not worried .but today, I could see my my whole world shattering.

"Wake up Shiva! what happened?" I asked his unconscious body. I looked up and saw the doctor.  "what has happened to him?" I asked the doctor. "actually he met a very bad accident. we are trying our best. don't worry" he said and signalled that nurse to take me out of the ward.

                I was crying outside. doctors were treating Shiva. I was praying God to please save my brother's life. my phone rank and vishu had called "hey, what happened? is Shiva alright ?everything is fine?" he asked I could sense the tension in his voice but I couldn't understand that how come he knew about this because I have not told him but this was something I was least interested at this moment." he is not fine. doctors are saying that it will take time for him to recover. they are treating him.they have sent me out" I said weeping. "don't worry! just don't take any tension. I will be there in half an hour. ok ?I'll try to be there as soon as possible just don't cry and have faith in doctors." he assured me .

I was waiting either vishu to come or the doctors to get out of operation theatre so that I can know that how is my brother doing. it has been one and half hour and Vishu has not reached yet. he usually doesn't do this he always does what he says but he is not here and that is what making me more panic. if he would be here then my stress would have gone half. suddenly I saw the lights of operation theatre getting off .I stood up as the doctors came out. I walk towards them.

"what happened doctor? is everything fine ?is my brother ok?" I asked them impatiently they looked down and then they looked each other. their silence was killing me at this moment. I knew what happened but I didn't want to accept it .

I knew that I am not going to see my brother anymore.

 I am not going to talk to him anymore but still I didn't want to feel those things.

 there is a little hope inside me that now doctors will say that you are brother might take longer to recover but he is out of danger and this little hope was very bad for me.

 one of the doctors look that me he put his Palm on my right shoulder "we are sorry,he is no more" the moment he announced this news to me  i was dead from inside .

my head, my hands ,my legs, my ears, every part of my body was numb.

 it felt as if someone has snatched my everything from me.

 now I am all alone. 

no one is there for me

 there is no one whom I can call my family 

there is no one to scold me

 there is no one to pamper me

 I have no one 

with these thoughts I saw a blurred vision which drifted me into unconsciousness.

           " Shivani, Shivani wake up" I heard Vishu waking me up. I slowly opened my eyes. I saw him .his face was red and his eyes were swollen. I guess he has been crying .I tried to get up, he puts the pillow  behind my back to make me sit comfortably. neither of us was speaking anything we both knew there is no point of speaking right now anything because what ever we are going to say it doesn't matter anymore.

               I started weeping and then tears came out from his eyes as well there was a silence in that room and The silence was the actual conversation between us and that was the moment when I and Vishu established that bond between us. 

when I opened up myself rather than my brother in front of anyone else .

I saw him crying when his child was dead and today he was crying for my brother.

 slowly my weeping werer getting hard. He sat close to me and hugged me and this hug made me release my pain. I cried hard and harder as much as I could.

         "Beta never think that you are alone. we all are always with you." Vishu's mother said. I was laying in her lap by keeping my head there. I have been staying in their home since Shiva's funeral. I didn't want to but vishu got me here forcefully. he didn't want to leave me alone. he came in the room with two cup of coffee. he sat on the bed .

"you guys continue. I have some work. ok? take care of yourself."aunty said and then left the room

                     Both of us were having our coffee." I wish I could be there. I still regret for not being there for him. if tarush's  didn't meet such a horrible accident on the same day then I would have definitely been there." this caught my attention and after so many days finally I decided to speak. "what do you mean? what were you doing on that day?" I asked him. I kept the mug of the coffee on the table beside the bed. I really wanted to know the reason "actually on that day tarush also had an accident .Tanya called me and asked me to treat him. I was in the same hospital where shiva was admitted but I couldn't reach on the time because I was treating tarush." he said keeping his head down. it seemed like he didn't have courage to look into my eyes. I could clearly see that how badly he was regretting not being there for us. "but I was not convinced when I came to know that he was no more because I had been told that he was out of danger. this is why I kept on treating tarush. if I knew that Shiva was in worse  condition than tarush then I would have definitely attended him. after treatment when I moved out to reach . Shiva's doctors were standing outside and then they told me everything. I was not convinced since I had been told that he was fine." he continued speaking. "what did doctors tell you ?"I asked him curiously. "well! I wanted to see Shiva first even before treating tarush but then intern Amit called me and told me that Shiva is fine so then I thought of treating tarush first and then meeting Shiva." he said keeping his head down continuously.

 his words word new to me how is that possible." if he was doing fine then why didn't Dr Amit tell me? in fact he didn't come out of the the operation theatre for whole one and a half hour. he came in the end and told me that he was no more" I could see a puzzling expression on Vishu's face "but he told me this only that is why I didn't come on that day within half an hour as I promised."

 

           we both stayed quiet for some time .he was thinking something so did I. "there is something fishy and there is something which has been hidden from us" he said." but what?" I asked him." first of all just tell me do you have all the stuff that doctors gave you, I mean whatever he was having with himself when he met the accident." he asked me.  "yes I have all those things but I have kept them in hostel." I told him. "don't worry. we are going hostel right now. this is very important "he said while getting up . "would you tell me what are you going to do now?" I asked him. "I clearly remember when I had asked Tanya that how did tarush had  accident. she told me nothing .she just asked me to treat him. I thought that she is concerned with her brother's health but now I highly doubt it" he said." I am still not getting what are you even trying to say?" I asked him in a baffling voice. 

He sat on The bed again and look at me I was looking at him eagerly in waiting for him to say something "Shivani, I think that Shiva and tarush's accident isn't a coincident that happened on the very same day and on same time." he said .his words were making my heart beat faster.

        We went to my hostel room. I took out the box where I had kept shiva's belongings during the accident. there was his mobile, chain ,watch ,a pen and a piece of paper . vishu checked his mobile .

after spending very good 15 minutes on shiva's mobile, he couldn't find anything relevant

      "what happened ?have you found anything?" I asked him. he looked at me  and nodded his head negatively. "what's that?" he asked me pointing his finger on that piece of paper. "I don't know .I have not opened it yet actually I didn't pay enough attention to this." I answered him. I picked that paper up and gave it to him. He unfolded the paper . he was reading that paper and after  30 seconds I could see tears in his eyes.

 I didn't understand that what was written that paper I snatched that paper from him and what I saw was really shocking.

6 week female fetus.

Yes, it was abortion report of Tanya.